Getting hit by a train a few times sounds relieving.
did you hear about the italian chef who died?
he pasta way
he just ran out of thyme
here today, gone tomato
his wife is still upset, cheese still not over it
we never sausage a tragedy coming
ashes to ashes, crust to crust
there’s just not mushroom for italian chefs in today’s world
im gonna raid my moms make up and make myself look pretty.
"mom, i need your eyeliner. dont ask why."
i feel like a princess.
MY DAD JUST WALKED IN. I HAVE NEVER SEEN HIM LOOK SO DISAPPOINTED.
MY PARENTS WANT TO BRING ME INTO THE LIVING ROOM FOR A “FAMILY MEETING” FUCKFUCK
… they brought me in to inform me i looked very pretty.